“To, ‘The God of heaven and earth,’
I’m writing to You, Lord to address my wrongs.
Indeed, these are written words spoken from my heart.
Your spoken word created life, and Your written word is alive.
Cannot my writing be considered my prayer?
Surely, praying is a condition of the heart.
I read in Your word that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love.
Isn’t this true about You?
Therefore if it is, these qualities in You will definitely cause You to hear me out.
Besides, You are the only One Who can help me.
No one else likes me or wants anything to do with me.
Will You please help me clean up the mess I’ve made of my life?
Because, something has awakened in me that has caused me to feel remorse for my actions.
My heart aches and my mind won’t rest.
You are the God that searches the heart and examines the mind.
I read this too, concerning You and I believe it.
Now, please Lord, search me—examine me and know that I am telling You the truth.
I’ve never before considered the consequences for my actions.
I have purposely made people feel uncomfortable around me, and I’ve often gone out of my way to make them feel just as dead inside as I do.
I am numb—my heart is cold and well-guarded, rendering it useless for loving others.
When I see someone who is like me, I hate them for it.
The hate for them is even stronger if they refuse to accept who I am when they clearly see that they are exactly like me.
Lord, You said in Your word to hate another is the same as committing murder, than surely according to Your words, I am guilty of manslaughter, or dangerously worse—I am a serial killer.
I haven’t the slightest interest in controlling my tongue and my mouth has no filter.
I am arrogant, stubborn, mean, and unforgiving.
I’ve been beyond rude, selfish, vindictive, and ungrateful for as long as I can remember; I lack understanding, I’m uncompromising, unreasonable, and impatient, but You Lord are faithful and just to forgive my sins and purify me from all unrighteousness.
Only You have the power to change me.
I don’t possess a will or any amount of power to do it on my own.
I have to have You in my life in order to survive past the basic standards of just living.
You said the wages of sin is death, which probably means I am slowly passing away.
I’m unhappy with my life and everything in it; the way I act, the way I feel, the way I look, and especially the way that I am.
I’ve put all my time and energy into achieving things that are unachievable or only beneficial to me, so I can feel better about myself and justify reasons—it’s only that nowadays, I end up feeling worse off than I did at first.
I am empty inside, and this empty feeling isolates me, then causes me to take it out on everyone and everything around me.
I want to start loving me for where I am, who I am, what I am, and how I am.
I want to be in right standing with You.
I want to live a righteous life.
I want to surrender all that I am to You.
I need You to give me a new heart that is pure, a new tongue that doesn’t kill, and a renewed mind—that won’t plot evil.
I need Your help to permanently change my ways, and change my thoughts and feelings.
I want the words that I speak to be acceptable in Your sight, so teach me to hold my tongue and choose my words wisely.
I want the way that I represent myself to be a direct reflection of Who You are—good, holy, lovely, honorable, and most of all, righteous.
Please heal my brokenness, remove this stony heart that’s in my chest, and fix these issues I can’t resolve on my own.
Although I don’t quite know what’s expected or even required of me yet, but I will be obedient and try my best.
You said that You are close to the broken hearted and I need to feel You near me to know this for certain.
I believe, Lord so now—help my unbelief.
I desperately want to change and only having You tangibly present in my life, can provide it.
You’re ‘The Righteous One,’ with the power to lift burdens.
My burdens are many, and are offensively heavy; please take them from me.
You are a glorious God and I can’t begin to wrap my mind around Your magnificent love and compassion for me, and it has caused me to want to sincerely love You back.
Lord, I ask for Your heart so that I may love like You.
I ask for Your eyes so that I may see like You.
I ask for Your ears so that I may hear what You hear.
I ask for Your mouth so that I may say what You’d say.
Lord, I acknowledge that I am made in Your image, but now I seek to bear Your resemblance so when others see me, they’ll see You.
Lord, take away my wrongs and make me right.
With this new mouth, I will use it to bless and not curse.”
With these new ears, I will listen attentively for Your voice.
With these new eyes, I will see clearer than ever before.
And, with my new heart, I will love more deeply and unconditionally.”
You’ve just read an excerpt from, “The Writeous Series.” (Writeousness, Book One) © 2016 Talisha Walton. All Rights Reserved
(Writeousness: Tia’s Pursuit is available for purchase here on Amazon.)