I cried myself to sleep this afternoon because my heart was broken. It wasn’t broken because someone had betrayed me or had done me wrong in some way, but because the heaviness of life sometimes get the best of me and I sometimes allow it to crush me and the result of that crushing leaves me in a broken state. My sin is I failed to give my sorrows to God and let Him deal with them. I must admit with a heavy heart that I often get tired of living the same old life day in and day out, but we were told to not grow weary in doing good.
Jesus says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” My spirit knows to give it all to God, but let’s be truthful in the matter here, so many of us seldom do this. For this reason, and this reason alone, I stand before God naked and ashamed because I know better than to carry a burden that was never meant for me to bear in the first place, but oh God and His unmeasurable mercy surrounds me. It is God’s grace that sustains me.
“Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy.” –Micah 7:18
The Lord is kind. He never snatches the burden from me, but He patiently awaits until I give it to Him, willingly. Oh, how awesome is this God of ours?
I fell asleep crying. Praying fervently, I asked Him to hear my cry, forgive my transgressions and remove the guilt of my falling away, and for not trusting in Him. He did so as I drifted off, The Lord came to me in my dream where I laid in the dark naked and shivering. He walked up to me, knelt down beside me, handed me a twenty dollar bill, and covered me. Because I know God’s language to me as we all have a particular kind and personal relationship with Him, I understand our language, fluently. I sometimes call myself “His Psalmissive One,” if not, “His Writeous One” because I consider myself a psalmist too who submits wholeheartedly to God so hence the the play on words. I knew right away what this dream means, and upon awaking I grabbed my tablet to search for the scripture…
“ May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May He send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May He remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
May He give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your requests.
Now this I know:
The Lord gives victory to His anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of His right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
Lord, give victory to the king!
He answers us when we call!”
Is not God—glorious? He didn’t have to comfort me in such a way, but He did because He is loving and cares deeply for His children. My repenting heart caught His attention. He turned His ear to me and heard me from His holy place, met me in our secret place, and healed me in my broken place.
He is mighty.